Ruling the Roost

Besides my family, I have only lived with two other people. One was a roommate and I currently live with my boyfriend. Admittedly, I was not so good at living with people at first. I didn't know the rules and figured out quickly that there may be many rules that each person thinks are unspoken and a given, but in all actuality they're not. This makes things sticky. My first roommate ended up dominating the apartment. She would eat my food, borrow my clothes, and always took over the living room. None of these things particularly bothered me at first, but when the sharing wasn't mutual I became really annoyed and let things fester.

I think that living with someone you are committed to is much easier. Standards in a normal healthy relationship transfer over to the conduct of living with someone: communication, working things out, sharing, respect. This doesn't mean things aren't tricky though. My boyfriend pays more than I do because our financial situation, yet I contribute more around the apartment. But on that note, we both refuse to get bogged down into specific roles. I wouldn't say that we had rules but expectations. He expects me not to leave my shoes in the walkway. I expect him to clean the sink after he's shaved. Sometimes I wish we did have rules. I feel like if there were set rules then there would be less conflict and messiness. Overall though, we're partners.